


Fortune's Fool

by Ibijau



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Child Marriage, Domestic Violence, Forced Marriage, Learning Disabilities, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parental Abuse, Slow Build, Trans Character, Transphobia, all the bad things and then more, implied sexual violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 05:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6966478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ibijau/pseuds/Ibijau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is tradition that if a sibling dies, leaving behind a spouse and children, their oldest surviving unmarried sibling should then take that spouse as their own, and help raise the children as their own.</p><p>Fili is fifty five when his older brother die, still mostly a child himself... but there's a widow left behind and Nori cannot be left to raise his child alone, so Fili must follow custom and marry a stranger who already hates him, just for who his brother was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fili at the start of the story is the dwarf equivalent of about 13. Kili is 12 I'd say. Their brother Thirin is 17 or 18, and legally a full adult by dwarven standards. Nori is a year or two older than Thirin, which gives roughly the same human age
> 
> If you feel I need to add tags and warning, please do tell!

Thirin came home late that night, a large smile on his face, and Fili made himself small, checking where Kili was (right there, playing with a doll, quietly so nobody would notice it was past her bed time) before finding himself a corner to stand in, so he wouldn't get dragged in whatever trouble was about to start. He saw his amad do the same thing as him, checking where her two younger ones where, and their eyes met for a second before Thirin claimed he had great news, turning their attention back on him.

“What have you done this time,” Brein asked her son, smiling already. “You've been making trouble again, haven't you?”

“Not at all mother,” Thirin protested. “Or at least, that's not what I'm talking about here,” he corrected with a smirk. “No, I have real good news. I'm getting married.”

Such astonishing news drew gasps from their mothers, and even Kili dropped her doll. Fili's eyes just opened wide. What sort of a person could ever want to marry Thirin? Or, if he were honest, was sort of a person wouldn't. Thirin was a prince of sort, and he'd be king after their uncle Thorin one day... king of a kingdom that didn't exist anymore, but king anyway.

“And who is the lucky girl?” Brein asked. “Is her family rich?”

“It's a boy actually,” Thirin corrected, and Fili caught the grimace on his mother's face, made himself smaller again. “But a bearing one, so it might as well be a girl. And his family isn't rich as such, no... they're merchants, they deal in fabrics. You know Ari the Whore? He's her second son, Nori.”

There was a brief silence, before both their mothers spoke at once.

“You shouldn't call your future mother-in-law that way!” Dis exclaimed.

“Whores and whoresons are not meant to be espoused!” Brein exploded at the same time. “Have you lost your mind entirely?”

“I'll marry who I want,” Thirin retorted. “I am the future king. If I want a whore for my bride, it's my choice! Besides, their family have great beauty and great fertility, isn't that all that matters? He'll give me many pretty heirs.”

Brein shouted something in answer, and Thirin shouted back while Dis tried to calm them both, but Fili stopped listening too much. He was trying to remember what Nori looked like. He knew Ari, because sometimes he went with his mother to buy wool and linen at her shop, and he knew Dori, who usually came to offer them tea and was very nice, and there was baby Ori, who wasn't actually a baby but was younger than even Kili and so a baby indeed, but Nori... Fili had seen him only once, if that was him, on a day when Dwalin had come with their to the shop. He'd had very red hair, and a very sharp nose, and he laughed a lot... not someone that Fili could really imagine liking Thirin. But Thirin was a future king, and if Nori was pretty indeed... well, maybe that was enough for a wedding? After all, his mothers didn't have much in common either.

A louder cry caught his attention. Brein had stopped shouting at her son, and she was now shouting at her wife, blaming Dis for everything that was wrong with Thirin. Fili knew it was time for him to act. As silently as he could, he escaped from his little corner and joined Kili. He was just in time; a little more, and she might have started crying, even though she ought to have known better by now. She was a grown girl now, so grown he couldn't really lift her in his arms anymore, hadn't been able to for years... but when he wrapped his arms around her waist and started pulling, she understood and got up quickly, following him quietly to the bedroom. Fili closed the door carefully, and they both sat on the bed they were still sharing, trying to ignore the noises coming from the main room.

“Forgot my doll,” Kili noted sadly, snuggling against her brother. “I want my doll...”

“If we go out now, they'll get angry at us,” Fili replied. “We're supposed to be in bed already...”

“But mother will be angry at me if she sees it and say I gotta be careful... last time, she said she'd throw it away!”

Fili sighed, and pulled his sister closer to him, wishing she'd grow up already and stop being so childish about things.

“Mother will also be angry if she sees you now,” he told her patiently. “She'll slap you and still throw it away I bet. If you don't go and she throws it... I'll go get it back for you, yeah?”

He felt his sister nod against his shoulder, and sighed again, pushing her down so she could try to sleep. Kili obeyed and curled at his side, while he remained sitting, listening to the noises outside. It was still just shouting outside. It rarely was more than words anyway, though sometimes, Fili wished that it would be. He couldn't protect his amad against words, but if mother struck her, he could go to uncle Thorin... and he'd protect her, and they'd be rid of Brein and Thirin, they'd be happy at last.

It must have been nice, being happy, Fili often thought on such nights. It must have been pleasant.

 

 

Morning came, and Thirin was still getting married. It seemed he had won that one. It didn't much surprise Fili. Ever since coming of age a couple years earlier, Thirin had won most fights with their mothers. In better news, Kili's doll hadn't been thrown away, which was a relief. It was so childish of her, but Kili clung to that doll all the time, as if she weren't very nearly fifty already. She still got yelled at for spilling tea on her shirt at breakfast, but that was just normal. Even Dis usually agreed that her daughter was too clumsy and needed to be more careful.

Later that day, uncle Thorin was told about Thirin's intentions. He didn't seem too impressed by his nephew's choice for a spouse at first, or even that he wanted to get married when he was just in his seventies, but Thirin easily convinced him, talking of how clever and pretty and talented Nori was, how he had travelled far in spite of his young age... It was like he talked about a completely different person than he had the night before. Suddenly he wasn't marrying a fertile whore, but instead an upstanding member of society who just happened to come from a less rich family. Fili wondered why his brother hadn't said that the night before too, why he hadn't tried to avoid the fight...if Thorin could be convinced, so could Brein, and it would have been much easier... but sometimes Fili thought his brother liked fights, especially when he was sure to win them.

“Have you talked to Nori's family yet?” Thorin enquired at last.

“I've asked him to prepare them for the news, but I thought you might come with me to properly ask them for his hand. With you by my side, it will show how very serious I am, and that I have your approval.”

Thorin nodded, clearly glad that his nephew had thought of that. It made Fili furious, and it reminded him that even if Brein someday struck her wife, Thorin wouldn't help. They'd lied to him too well, and for too long, the truth would be too strange to him.

 

 

While Dis, Brein and Thorin got to meet their future in-laws the very next day, it was nearly a week before Fili and Kili finally met their brother-in-law. Nori had been invited for dinner one night, to be made more of a part of family. Everyone was so calm and polite, it made Fili angry, made him want to stand up on his chair and shout at Nori what sort of a family he really was going to enter. He wasn't brave enough for it though. And maybe Nori knew already. He seemed so careful in all his gestures, all his words... and Fili knew that sort of carefulness. Everyone who spent time with Thirin and got to really know him ended up acting the same. It made Fili feel a little sorry, but mostly it made him angrier, at himself and at the world. He wished there was someone in the world brave enough to annoy Thirin and not care for the consequences. He wished he were that person, and knew he'd never be.

Kili must have been braver than him, or maybe she just didn't realise.

“Is it true you've travelled a lot?” she kept asking, even when Thirin glared at her repeatedly. “Have you seen elves? Have you seen Erebor? How far have you ever been?”

“I've been to the Orocarni once,” Nori replied carefully after a glance at his fiancé, something in his face lighting up. “And I've seen Erebor from a distance I think, but I'm not quite sure, because...”

“Don't feel like you have to answer her,” Thirin cut him. “She's not supposed to talk at the table when we have guests, but amad lets her get away with everything lately. You must know what it is. Your little sister must be a pest too.”

Judging by Nori's frown, 'pest' was not a word he'd have chosen for any sibling of his, but he didn't protest. It had been an affirmation, not a question.

All in all it was an unpleasant dinner, but probably less then it would have been if Nori hadn't been there, because everyone had to be on best behaviour to pretend they were all decent people. Fili wonder if they would still make the effort after the wedding. He hoped so. It was quieter that way, and he liked it.

 

 

It was a nice enough wedding. At least, Fili thought that it was, what little of it he really saw. He was still too young by a few weeks to be allowed in the actual ceremony, and he spent most of the party after playing with the few children presents. Dis had tried to get the wedding pushed to a later date so he'd be of age to see his brother married, but Thirin had flat out refused to wait even a month longer, even when Thorin had tried to convince him it would be a much nicer thing for the whole family that way. Fili really wished they hadn't all tried to do that on his account, because all they accomplished was that his brother was angry at him for being a bother, and that Thirin pinched him hard every chance he had. Even on the wedding day he did it again, hard enough that Fili's bruise lasted more than a week.

It was the only time Thirin paid any attention to him though. The rest of the day, Fili was free to run around with Kili, their cousin Gimli, and little Ori. There was nice food too, nicer than usual... A lot of it was fresh fruit and vegetables too, it must have cost them a fortune and Fili hoped there would be usable leftovers... but a prince, a future king even, had to marry with style, and it was all so good that Fili couldn't quite care that the next few weeks were likely to be bleak.

“Your brother, is he nice?” Ori asked him at some point in the evening, when the four of them where hiding under a table with some apples and a small bottle of wine they had stolen.

Fili didn't much like the taste of wine, but since he was the oldest, he'd wanted to act like an adult and had drunk most of it. As a result, he was a little tipsy. If he hadn't been, he'd have remembered to lie.

“Thirin is nasty,” he giggled, not noticing how Ori went still. “He's the most awful person I know, and I'm always hoping he'll fall in the stairs and break his neck. That'd be so nice! But don't tell anyone, it's a secret!”

Next to him, Kili nodded sleepily, half drunk too, but even through the haze of alcohol, Ori and Gimli seemed horrified by what Fili had said. He didn't see why. He wasn't supposed to say it out loud, sure, but everyone felt that way about someone in their family, no?

“You think he'll be mean to Nori?” Ori asked with a shaky voice. “Because Nori... he can be difficult sometimes, even amad gets angry at times...”

“Thirin is mean to everyone,” Fili replied with a shrug. “Everyone except uncle Thorin. He is the most meanest. But he probably won't hit him. Well, not very much, not if he doesn't get really very furious. He'll just shout at him, don't worry.”

It was meant to be reassuring, but Ori just went pale. Fili didn't see why. The fact that Thirin would probably not be violent should have been good news, no? But Ori was so young, even younger than Kili, and she only had one parent... maybe she didn't know yet how these things worked. Maybe she still believed in stories. Fili felt a little sorry for her, and he also felt very grown up for knowing better.

“I gotta go see amad,” Ori mumbled, crawling away from the table. “Gotta see her now.”

She escaped so quickly, Fili was worried for a second. Maybe he really wasn't supposed to say that out loud, not even to another child. He'd get in trouble for sure...

But that train of thought was interrupted when Kili fell on his lap, already half asleep, and he noticed that Gimli wasn't much better off. He shook them both to wake them up, and pushed them out of their hiding place. He dragged Gimli to her father, who was very unhappy when he smelled wine on his precious daughter and grumbled that he wouldn't let Fili babysit again in a while. Fili just shrugged in answer, too tired to care that it was rude and insolent and bad, before pulling his sister toward their amad. Dis was in deep conversation with Thorin in a corner of the room, saying something about Nori not looking very cheerful, but they both stopped talking when they saw the children arrive.

“Kili's tired,” Fili announced, trying hard to look fully awake himself. The two adults didn't look convinced, but they had the tact not to mention it. “She wanna go home.”

Kili tried to protest by shaking her head, but she almost lost her balance in the process, and her brother had to pull her to him to make sure she didn't fall.

“I see that,” Dis said with a smile. “But we're not quite done yet here... Can you take her home, and maybe stay there with her so she's not alone?”

“If you think it's better,” Fili replied, glad that his amad was giving him a chance to escape with his pride intact. “When will you be home?”

“Much later. Don't stay up waiting for us, dear. The night is only beginning for us, but you... I mean, Kili should sleep. She needs it, poor dear.”

Fili nodded, and started pulling on Kili's arm again, this time toward the exit. Just as they were about to go through the door, he had the curiosity to look back at his brother and his new spouse. Thirin was smiling and shouting and drinking, his hands already all over Nori. And Thorin had been right: Nori sure didn't look very happy for a young groom. Fili couldn't blame him. He wouldn't have been happy either to be linked until death to someone like Thirin. But Nori had chosen it, so it was his problem, and Fili didn't care. He just did his job, and took his sister home, as he had promised.

And maybe he fell asleep faster than her when they finally dropped on their bed, but that wasn't something anyone would ever know. He dreamed of Thirin, as he often did when he went to bed after a day too full of experiences. But it was not a bad dream, because in it the dragon came again, and this time he only devoured Thirin and Brein and left alone all the good people of the Blue Mountains. Any dream that ended with his brother's death was a good one for Fili.

 

 

Only, he'd never expected that his most private fantasy would become true, and so fast at that. But three weeks after his wedding Thirin was dead, and Fili couldn't help feeling guilty for how often he'd wanted it.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thirin is dead, and yet still causing problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for: victim blaming (a whole lot of it sadly), implied marrital rape and domestic abuse, and yet more abusive parenting

The first clue of something wrong was the noises in the middle of the night. It woke Fili up, but he recognised the voices of his mothers among the many people talking. Another argument maybe. He was too used to them to really worry, so he fell back to sleep, pulling Kili closer to him just in case she'd heard it too.

A few minutes later, or maybe a couple hours, someone tried to wake him up again. Fili protested at first, trying to push away whoever was bothering him. But at last he registered the light shaking of his shoulder and the worried voice could only come from Dis, and forced himself to open his eyes. She wouldn't bother him without a reason. She gestured for him to be silent and follow her, and he obeyed once he managed to untangle himself from Kili's arms.

“Did I do something wrong?” Fili whispered as he closed the bedroom's door.

“No, love. It's... it's Thirin. There was... You know he decided to go out with some friends last night, yes?”

Fili nodded. Thirin went out most nights, which was good because when he was home, Fili could often hear him argue with Nori in the main room where they had put their bed... as that was not all he could hear. He wished they'd get their own house already, because the noises really scared Kili.

“It seems he... he drunk a little too much,” Dis explained, tears falling from her eyes. “And there are stairs on the way back from the tavern he went and he... your brother fell, and he... he broke his neck,” he sobbed. “His friends tried to bring him here as fast as they could, and, and we called Oin, but he, he said Thirin must have died instantly...”

Fili stopped breathing for a moment. Good riddance, was his first thought. His second thought, and all the following ones, were that he was a monster for being glad that his own brother had died, that it made him just as bad as Thirin was, or worse even. Thirin had never wished anyone dead. He'd been nasty but he was still Fili's brother and Fili should have been sad. Any normal dwarf would have been sad. So why couldn't he be?

To make it worse, Dis was looking at him as if she were expecting sadness, maybe even tears. Fili couldn't cry on demand, but he tried to force his expression into an appropriately sad one.

“That's awful,” he said, too flatly to be convincing.

“Brein went to tell Thorin,” Dis explained, pulling her son in her arms and holding him tight. “I'm sorry to have woken you up like that, I just... I couldn't stand to be alone, we put him in the storage room for now since it's fresh in there, and his friends are there with Nori and Oin but I just... and it's all going to fall on your shoulders now, I thought you'd better be awake and be there...”

“It's okay,” Fili explained, patting her shoulder. He couldn't make himself be sad about his brother, but he could feel sorry for his mother's pain at least. “I was already mostly awake anyway. What do you want me to do?”

“I have to... we have to stay with him to say prayers. Can you come sit with us?”

Fili nodded. He wasn't quite an adult yet, wouldn't be for another five weeks, so he shouldn't have had to take part in the wake, and he wasn't sure that a heartless brother's prayers would be any good to calm Thirin's soul... but if it could comfort Dis at least, then he'd do anything at all.

 

 

It was so odd to see Thirin lying down like that, his friends around him. Two of them had fallen asleep, probably just as drunk as Thirin had been when he died. Oin was sitting on the right side of the mattress on which the body was laid, reading prayers in Khuzdul from a tiny book, his voice nothing more than a slow murmur to soothe the departed soul.

On the left side of Thirin there was Nori, sitting too. Silent. Staring at his deceased husband. He seemed about as sad of this turn of even as Fili felt, but he didn't even try to hide it. Fili couldn't blame him. In just three weeks, Thirin had proved himself a terrible husband, a far worse partner than Brein could have been. Some of it was Nori's fault, because he was always arguing instead of keeping quiet and laying low, but it hadn't excused Thirin's words and insults nor the sounds that came from the living room once the new couple was alone. At least now, Nori was free again, or he would be once his mourning period would be over and he could return to his family.

“Kili is still sleeping,” Dis explained to Nori in a low voice, pushing her surviving son to go sit at his brother-in-law's side while she took place near Oin. “I thought there was no need... she's a little fragile sometimes. I hope you don't mind?”

Nori shrugged. “Do whatever you like. It's your family, not mine. Handle things as you please, I don't care.”

It was rude enough of him that Dis frowned at him through her tears, but she didn't comment on it. As for Fili, he couldn't help but feel again that as bad as Thirin had been, Nori could have made things easier for all of them if he hadn't been so difficult all the time. After all it usually worked for Dis, and for Fili, and even Kili could manage it most of the time, so why did Nori have to always piss off Thirin?

“Nori, would you like to take a turn reading?” Dis offered, still trying to involve him. “It would be... nice if you did. You're... I mean, you were his husband.”

“I'd rather not,” came the reply, Nori pushing the insult to the point of grimacing as he said it, as if the very idea of helping his husband's soul disgusted him.

“I'll do it if you want,” Fili quickly proposed so there couldn't be an argument. “If you think I can? I know I'm not old enough, but...”

“It's very thoughtful of you,” Dis said after glaring at her son-in-law. “Oin, can you give him the book when you are done with your prayer? And you won't have to read for too long if you're tired, Fili. I'll take a turn after, love, or Brein and your uncle will. They should be here soon now.”

As predicted, Thorin and his sister-in-law arrived as Fili was just starting to read a prayer. It was a relief to him because he kept stuttering and halting on the unfamiliar sounds and the letters he still couldn't decipher quickly, in spite of how hard he'd worked to learn them better. Dis had not said a word about it, and neither had Oin even though he was a renown scholar in religious matters, and an infamously harsh teacher at that. He might have been mostly deaf, but never so much that he couldn't hear mistakes, except on that day. But when Brein entered and heard her son reading, she glared at him as if every hesitation were a personal insult against Thirin.

“Give me that,” she ordered, snatching the book from Fili's hands as she pushed him against Nori's side to have room to sit down. “Why are you even reading? This is adults' business, you should just sit in a corner and cry in silence, like a good child. And where is your sister?”

Dis tried to explain that she'd let their daughter sleep some more, and for this she got glared at too.

“Don't any of you Longbeard know anything of mourning?” Brein exploded. “It's no wonder Mahal decided to abandon you if you keep insulting him that way! Go fetch the girl now, she has no business sleeping where her brother and future king lays dead! And then put her in a corner along with Fili, somewhere they won't disturb. Or they could make us tea and collations, so they can be of some use for once!”

Both Dis and Thorin blushed at the insult against their people. The later in particular looked about to say something, but Oin raised a hand to stop him.

“If there's going to be a fight, it better happen in another room,” he warned them. “This, here, must be a place of peace and reflection, so the boy's soul can calm down and find its way to the Maker's Halls. And you,” he added, pointing at Brein, “had better let your son finish reading his prayer. It's bad luck to interrupt a reading, and it can upset the departed's soul. Thought you'd know that.”

Brein looked down in shame as she gave the book back to her son, while Thorin forced himself to a blank expression as he took his sister's place when she went to get Kili. The girl was heavily crying when she came in with her mother, sobbing loudly at the loss of a brother who did have some random moments of kindness to her, when the fancy took him. She was clearly too noisy for Brein's taste though, and even Oin gestured at Dis to calm her down somehow. Seeing this, Fili rushed through the rest of his prayer, mispronouncing every other word and swallowing syllables so he could go faster. The book then passed to Thorin, and Fili took his sister to the kitchen so she could cry in peace enough tears for the both of them while he held her close.

 

 

Thirin's wake lasted three days, and then his body was returned to the stone. Fili spent the whole time trying to be sad and failing. He really must have been a monster then, but at least he wasn't the only one. Nori didn't cry either, and refused to read any prayer for his husband's soul. He also tried to refuse to cut his hair and beard in mourning, leading to a great argument with Brein and Dis, until Thorin was forced to bring Ari to the discussion, and she convinced her son to obey. Nori looked so odd with his clean shaven head, even more hairless than a newborn, Fili had to swallow a giggle the first time he saw him like that. For someone normally so pretty, he certainly looked ridiculous now, and he must have known it because he became very short tempered.

Once the burial was over, life returned to normal.

Or rather, it did for everyone except Fili. Because suddenly he wasn't just the second born son nobody really had time for. Suddenly, he was the eldest child in the family, and Thorin's heir. What that meant was mostly a good deal more of lessons of all sorts with anyone who felt they had a right to teach him, and being scolded all the time at home because a Proper Prince Didn't Do That. Usually that scolding was for things he'd always been doing, but nobody had really paid attention to before. And it was so unfair that he sometimes forgot to lay low, that he would protest because it felt too much like everyone was angry at him for being the one alive when they would have preferred Thirin with all his faults. In a bout of anger, he asked one day if they really wished he had died instead of his brother. It got him a hard slap, the first Dis had ever given him, and the shock of him made him start crying the way he hadn't managed to cry for his brother's death. He decided that it also answered the question, in a way. His mother wouldn't have been so angry if he hadn't been right.

Five weeks after his brother's death, Fili's coming-of-age happened. It should have been a great party, with many presents, but Brein strongly argued against it. It would be an offence against Thirin to be rejoicing during the mourning period, she claimed, and they shouldn't mark the event at all. Dis, so often willing to give in just so she could avoid yet another fight, stood up against her wife this time. It would be unheard of to have a coming-of-age go uncelebrated, especially for a prince. It would be a shame on all Longbeards, and if they had once manage to somehow make a party for her brother Frerin during their wandering years when they had nothing at all, they certainly weren't going to do any less for her son. The fight lasted for days, and it was such a bad one that Nori got scared enough to hide with Fili and Kili in the bedroom, while the neighbours often came by to make sure nothing more than harsh words were exchanged.

In the end, Fili did get a party, but such a small one that it barely deserved that name. Dis and Thorin had taken steps to invite people and have food bought for the occasion, but Brein secretly went behind their back to cancel it all. When the day came, only close family was there, theirs and Nori's. Thorin was furious at his sister-in-law and there was another terrible argument which further ruined the day, and he ended up leaving the party early, claiming his intent to make sure his family and his people wouldn't need to depend on Broadbeam gold anymore. Fili felt miserable and said so to Kili. Nori heard him and sneered that he was welcome to adulthood.

As if it wasn't enough that this most important day of his young life had been ruined, Fili had to live the following weeks with the knowledge that his mere existence had managed to torn his family apart for good. Thorin truly didn't forgive Brein for what she had done, and neither did Dis. Arguments became more frequent, and they were often about the way Fili should be educated now that he was heir to the throne. Dis had great plans for him, wanted to give him all the same chances that had been given to Thirin all his life, but Brein refused it all.

“I've wasted enough money on your illusions,” she often told her wife. “I did not mind so much when it was for Thirin, because he was a strong, clever boy, and I've always known he could do great things in Ered Luin. But Fili? Look at him! He's small, weak and stupid. Do you know humans who raise dogs will drown puppies which they know won't ever amount to anything? Well, I think they've got something here, because that boy will never be anything but a useless mouth. At least Kili will be able to bear children, dimwitted as she is, but what will Fili ever do, except dream he'll be king someday? He was lazy enough when Thirin lived, but now he really acts as if everything should come to him easy!”

Fili was right next to her for that one argument. He was very proud of himself for not showing any emotion that entire time, but the moment he could do it without any slight to his pride, he rushed to the bedroom to cry.

It wasn't fair to say he was lazy. He tried hard to do what was expected of him, even at times when he wasn't told what it was that he should do. And he wasn't stupid either: he worked hard every time someone tried to teach him something new, and often he did, if not great, then at least not terribly bad either. Thorin had even told him that he was a good smith that could have helped them greatly during the wandering years, when that was the only skill anyone would pay them for. And Thorin's friend Dwalin had said he had a gift for music, had even offered to teach him the violin in his spare time, when he wasn't working away from the mountains, but Brein had refused. It had been Dwalin's fault for saying Fili could make some money from it in time; Brein has coldly claimed that no one in her family had ever lowered themselves so badly as to play music for coins. She held the same opinion about working in a forge. And maybe it did make Fili stupid and useless that these were his only talents, that he couldn't bargain like his mother, or make nice conversation, or memorise sacred texts like his cousins on her side could. Maybe she was right about him.

But he still couldn't help but feel she shouldn't have said these things when he was standing next to her, as if he were nothing more than a piece of rock who couldn't understand what was said about him.

 

 

The mourning period lasted three months. One for each day the soul spent wandering the world after the death.

Two weeks before he could be free to return to his family again, Nori became sick.

It was not exactly a surprise for Fili and Kili. As winter had come, their brother-in-law had often joined them on their bed to avoid the cold. They both knew he was often nauseous in the morning but he had asked them not to tell anyone, and they'd kept silent. They didn't know if they liked Nori or not, but once he told them it would create problem with Brein if his nausea was known, his secret was their secret.

But once the bouts of sickness started happening at other times of the days, Nori could no longer hide it from his in-laws. At first he lied about something he had to be digesting badly, but after a few days the excuse could no longer work, and Oin was called to inspect him. His diagnosis was quick and definitive.

Nori was pregnant.

At first, Fili felt rather unconcerned by the news. If anything, everyone being so focused on Nori and that baby of his meant that for a few days they didn't watch him so closely anymore, so he was rather glad. Of course, he knew that it would mean Nori would have to stay with them after all instead of returning to his family. And it also probably meant that Fili wouldn't be Thorin's heir after all, that the role would fall instead to Thirin's child. That felt like good news too. All he had to do now was to get out of the room every time Nori started arguing for the right to raise his child in his own family, taking Kili with him so she wouldn't get in trouble, and all was fine.

That only worked for a few days before Thorin noticed it and caught him on his way out of the house.

“You're going to stay this time,” he told his nephew. “This affects you as much as the rest of us. And you too, Kili. You're both too old to keep running from everything unpleasant.”

“I don't see what it has to do with me,” Fili muttered under his breath.

“It'll have everything to do with you once you marry Nori,” his uncle retorted. “So sit down and listen.”

And maybe Brein was right after all, maybe Fili was stupid. Because he'd never thought about that at all. He knew there was an old Longbeard customs to make sure orphans were taken care of, and that one of the deceased parent's sibling would marry the surviving one and adopt the children. He's read old tales about it. But they were just that: old tales. As far as he knew, the custom had more or less disappeared during the wandering years, because there were just too many widowers and not enough people to marry them. Besides, Broadbeams didn't do things that way, even called the custom backward, which had done a good deal in further killing it.

But this was different. This was the royal family dealing with a Longbeard bearing a child of theirs. Even Brein, always the first to sneer at the fact that her in-laws were ignorant barbarians, agreed that in this case at least, the custom would be justified. Mostly she agreed because she couldn't bear the idea of her grandchild being raised by some poor, low born merchants. It was the first time in years that she was in agreement over anything with her wife and brother-in-law, and poor Nori was alone against them, pleading and begging and ordering that he be allowed to return in his family. He even offered to let Brein and Dis raise the child without him if they so wanted that baby, anything at all if he could only go home, but that turned out to be a very bad move on his part. They all took it as proof that he would be an unfeeling parent if he were left to his own device, and it settled the matter.

Once the mourning period was over Nori would marry Fili, and together they would raise Thirin's heir.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori gets married again, and hates it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for: mentions of marital rape, and, er... violent thoughts again an unborn child, let's say?

It was Nori's second wedding in less than half a year, and it was somehow even worse than the first one. Which was saying something, considering the first time he had gotten married to a man who had threatened to harass his family and take away their livelihood if Nori refused the great honour done to him. Nori didn't like being threatened, and he liked it even less when he knew it wasn't an empty threat.

And now that his husband had had the good idea to die early, now that he could have been free, the bunch of madmen he had to call his in-laws had pulled an ancient law out of their ass to keep him trapped with them by marrying him of to a child. An almost literal child, whose coming of age had happened less than two months before their wedding.

Oh, and on top of it, Nori was pregnant.

It was not, all things considered, a very good year for him.

“I should have tried to lose the child,” he told his mother as she helped him prepare for his second wedding, trying to hide his cropped hair with veils.

“Don't say such things!” Ari scolded him, pinching his ear lightly. “And no, you shouldn't have. You're lucky you didn't lose it either, or they'd have accused you of abortion and you'd have ended up in prison.”

“At least in prison I'd have a chance to get out someday.”

His mother sighed, and Nori bit his lip. It wasn't fair to take it out on her. Ari already felt guilty enough about the whole thing. Nori hadn't told her why he'd agreed to marry Thirin, not in detail anyway, but she was smart enough to have understood the bits he didn't say, and she felt awful for not being able to protect her son.

“At least that one doesn't seem so bad,” she said at last, forcing herself to sound cheerful. “Less awful than his brother, certainly. I know he often comes with his mother when she needs to shop, and he seems very polite and helpful.”

Nori shrugged. He wasn't sure what to even think about Fili. The mothers? Raving mad the both of them, always screaming and arguing about everything. Thirin? A monster, and if he hadn't died like a drunkard, Nori would have killed him before a year. The girl, Kili? Nice and a bit naïve, but he liked her because she somewhat reminded him of Ori. But that Fili boy was just weird. Half the time he was a doormat without personality, and then once in a while he just got angry at everyone until someone, usually Brein, slapped him back into silence.

“He's just a kid, not exactly husband material.”

“At least he won't forbid you to see us,” Ari pointed out, pinning in place the veils on her son's face. “Ori so misses you. We all do.”

“I miss you too,” Nori whispered, grabbing her sleeve to pull her in a tight hug. “I want to go home, I don't want to marry anyone, I just want to go home with you, why can't I?”

“Life can be unfair like that,” his mother replied, holding him as close as she could. “Tell him you want to come see us tomorrow, please? I'll make tea, and I'm sure Dori will agree to take out the good biscuits. He has too many of them now that you're no longer here to steal them from him.”

 

The whole ceremony must have looked ridiculous. Nori was a good head and a half taller than his husband, and the damn boy had that annoying blank look of his on his face the whole time. Shouldn't the boy have at least tried to look happy? Surely this was less of an ordeal for him than it was for Nori, since he got to marry one of the most handsome dwarves of Ered Luin (Nori didn't see much point in modesty, false or not) while still at that awkward age where he looked like an overgrown bean with ears too big. It was actually interesting that Fili managed to look like he had grown too fast while he was actually so short. Nori really hoped the boy would gain a few inches and a couple pounds eventually, just so he'd start looking like a dwarf instead of a miniature elf.

Another problem was the food. It wasn't bad as such, but it didn't reach the quality of Nori's first wedding, and there was a good deal less quantity as well. Brein must have done a repeat of her scheming from Fili's coming-of-age party. It had shocked Nori the first time and it still did now that any parent could want to save money on such events, especially when everyone knew how rich Brein was. Money was the only reason she'd ever managed to marry into the royal family, and now she wouldn't even give them any to celebrate her own son. And these were the people who were forcing Nori to marry one of them because they suspected he wouldn't be a good father... it would make him laugh if it weren't his life they were ruining.

“Where the fuck did they buy that wine?” he had to complain to Fili toward the end of the meal. “Even the deep levels' worse watering holes wouldn't serve that! It's not even wine, it's vinegar that went wrong!”

“I didn't taste it,” the boy answered blankly. “Mother said that she'd had troubles finding anything at all for the feast. She said the winter is a very bad one and the Men have raised the prices a lot.”

“The Men do that every winter. If she's got a problem with it, she should have waiting until spring to marry you off. And what do you mean you didn't taste it? You're an adult, no? You're old enough to drink like one.”

“Don't like the taste,” Fili replied with a frown, probably the first expression Nori saw on his face all day. “Besides, you've had one husband dying from too much drinking already, I'm sure you don't want the second to be as bad, right?”

Nori shrugged. “I don't want a second husband at all.”

For some reason, that made the boy tense up next to him, and for a brief second Fili's face looked a little sad. It didn't last though, and in the blink of an eye, the boy was as blank as ever. It almost intrigued Nori to see that kid so constantly guarded, until he remembered he didn't care about anyone in the royal family because they were all crazy bastards who didn't give a fuck about him, so he had no reason to get interested in any of them.

“I will barely be your husband at all,” Fili retorted. “This is just a formality. I am even trying to negotiate with mother and amad to see if I cannot still sleep with Kili. There's no point in sharing your bed after all, and Kili gets scared when she's alone.”

Another shrug. Nori figured he had another few years before Fili got really interested in sex, and by then Nori might have found his way out. Once the royals had their heir, he might be able to run away and they wouldn't mind too much since they'd have a baby to continue their line. But even if he stayed, he wouldn't be taken by force again. If Fili tried that then one of them would die, and Nori didn't intend that it'd be himself.

These were more or less the only words the newlyweds exchanged that night. The party didn’t last very long, because there just wasn’t any joy to it, and Brein had forbidden that any dancing music be played, out of respect for Thirin’s death. Nori didn’t complain because he was exhausted. It was a relief when Fili and him went to bed at last. When they laid down on their mattress in the living room, the boy seemed at a loss for a moment, staring at Nori in confusion before turning his back to him and curling up under the cover, as far away as he could from his new husband. That was just fine by Nori. He’d seen the boy sleep with his sister, and he’d feared that he’d try to be a hugger with him too, but apparently they both disliked the idea of any physical contact between them.

 

Morning came, and Nori woke up to find Fili clinging to him. The boy was holding him so tight he couldn’t free himself, and he had to wake him up. Fili was mortified by what he’d done to say the least, blushing and mumbling as he apologised. For once, he was acting like the fifty five years old that he was, and Nori almost wanted to tease him, as he might have done with the younger sibling of a friend. But then Brein came out from the bedroom to order them to put away their bed, and in a second Fili was back to the blank and boring boy Nori was used to.

“I’d like to go see my family today,” Nori said as he helped Dis prepare breakfast. “I haven’t seen them a lot these past few… well, months at this point.”

“You can’t go, Fili has lessons to attend today,” Brein retorted. She was sitting at the table, watching the other two work. Giving plenty of advice, and no help at all.

Nori wanted to retort that it was all the better because he wanted to go alone, but he bit his tongue and took a deep breath. He really wanted to go, and so just this once, he had to be diplomatic with the resident tyrant. He was trying to think what to say that could convince Brein when Fili, who was preparing the table, pointed out that Nori could very well go alone.

“It’d be scandalous for him to go on visits without you, the very day after your wedding!” she protested.

“But it’s not a real wedding,” Fili noted blankly. “And people will not be surprised that he needs some time alone after all that has happened. They will just think he is still grieving Thirin and that he needs to be comforted by his mother.”

It was such bullshit that Nori almost laughed. He’d hated Thirin, and he’s refused to mourn him in almost any way. Fili needed to up his game at lying, because this just wouldn’t work. And yet, it kind of did. Brein looked at Nori in a suspicious way, and asked him if that was the reason.

“Yes, I need some time with my mother to mourn,” he told her, amazed again at how stupid she got every time something was about Thirin. Besides, it wasn’t even a lie. He needed to mourn his freedom. “Everything has happened so fast. Terrible. There’s things I can only talk about with her, right? You and Dis are, er, wonderful, but nothing replaces a mother, right?”

Maybe Brein believed him, or maybe she just thought that everyone else would believe it. Either way, she was no longer opposed to the idea of Nori going home for a few hours. He wasn’t sure she wouldn’t change her mind though, so he swallowed his breakfast as fast as he could and almost ran out of the house before she could say anything.

Ari and Ori hugged him close, which was normal, and so did Dori, which said well enough how much had changed in the last few months. Dori didn’t hug people if he could avoid it, didn’t much liked being touched at the best of times, and on top of it his relationship to Nori had often being rather stormy. After four months with the crazy royals though, Nori would have found an argument with his brother to be the most peaceful thing in the world.

Even though he’d eaten already, Ari wanted to make breakfast for her son. When Nori refused, pointing out that she needed to open the store, she dragged him there with her, finding him a chair to sit comfortably while Dori forced him to accept some biscuits. It was a slow morning, thankfully, and Nori was able to enjoy being home without too much distraction. They chatted about the wedding party, the cheapest thing they had ever been at, and how even the poorest people of the deep levels would have been ashamed of it. They agreed that the wine in particular had been awful. Dori told them he’d seen someone mistake it for a condiment and pour it in their plate. They laughed. Nobody shouted. Nobody tried to drop any hints to make someone else feel miserable and unwanted. Ari didn’t once say anything to let her children know that they were a disappointment and shouldn’t have been born. Nori had almost forgotten what it felt like to be among people who didn’t hate one another. It had been only four months, and yet he flinched when Ori teased their mother at one point, fully expecting her to yell the way Brein would have.

He didn’t realise he’d started crying and shaking until Ari’s arms were around him, holding him close. Nori cried harder and clung to her shoulders.

“I don’t want to go back there,” he sobbed, knowing how childish he sounded and not caring. “These… these _people_ , I hate them! I miss you, I miss all of you!”

“I know, love,” his mother whispered, kissing his brow and patting his head. “I know you want to go home, and we want you to come back too, but you know why it can’t happen.”

Nori nodded. He wanted to claw at his belly until it would open and he could rip out the unwanted life growing in there. He’d never thought he’d have a child someday, least of all one he would bear himself. He wasn’t made to be a father, and he was too young for it, and the mere thought of that thing inside him, put there by force, made him sick. If not for that spark of life down there, he’d be home, with his brother and sister, with his mother. He’d be allowed to hang out with his friends again, he’d go hunting on the surface even though it wasn’t quite legal, and he’d make sure to be helping in the shop every time that handsome guard Dwalin was dropping by. That was the life he should be living. The one he wanted to live. Not that tragedy with the royals, with people who hated their spouses and despised their children.

Nori cried, until a customer came in and his pride kicked in, forcing him to stop. He hoped they hadn’t seen him. Even if they had, they’d think the tears were for his much mourned husband, and they’d go tell around how very devastated he was, poor thing.

In the end, he spent most of the day in their little shop, even helping his mother tidy up after a while, because he was bored and because he loved her. He stole biscuits from Dori’s special stash, which infuriated his brother because it wasn’t as if he’d be denied anything if he just _asked_ like a normal person, which made Ori laugh, the real laugh of a real child, something he didn’t hear much these days.

“Come back to see us again,” Ari asked him when it was time to leave. “As often as you please. Every day, if they let you. But do come. We so miss you.”

“I will,” Nori promised, and he was determined to keep his word.

He’d even bring his child husband if Brein wouldn’t let him out on his own, but they wouldn’t keep him from his family again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Nori try to get used to married life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for: mentions of incest (nothing actually happens, but it is mentionned as a possibility)

In the first two weeks after his wedding, Fili woke up ten times clinging to Nori. His husband seemed almost amused the first time, but that quickly turned to annoyance and Fili had to find a solution before there could be an argument. Besides, Kili had never slept alone before and she must be scared. She didn’t seem too disturbed by this change but Fili _knew_ she’d be better if he started sleeping with her again.

He tried it one night. He waited until Nori seemed to be asleep before leaving their bed and sneaking into his old bedroom. It felt right to be cuddling Kili again, even if she protested a little at being half woken up. It was a much needed return to normal. But that wasn’t what Brein saw when she discovered her two children sleeping together the following morning. What she saw was Fili being childish and stubborn and unhealthy even, because what boy his age still slept with his sister? She started talking of sending Kili to live somewhere else if her brother couldn’t learn to leave her alone, but Nori put an end to that.

“I asked Fili to go sleep somewhere else,” he said. “There’s not much room on our mattress and I have trouble resting because of the baby so I kicked him out.”

“And you didn’t think to consult us before taking that decision?”

Nori rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you had to be made aware of every single little thing happening in our married life? Anyway, he’s not sleeping with me until the child’s birth, so he might as well sleep with his sister. You’d need a very twisted and dirty mind to see anything bad in that. I mean, Ori is always sleeping with Dori or our mam in winter, and there’s nothing wrong with it.”

Brein glared at him. “You think you can decide things over here maybe? Well you’ve got a surprise coming here, boy, because…”

“I’m not deciding anything,” Nori cut her. “But Fili’s not sleeping with me for now. If you try to force me to accept it in our bed, I’ll go see Oin and ask for his medical opinion, see what he thinks of it. Not sure he’ll be too happy with the idea of sacrificing the comfort of a pregnant dwarf just because you think your son will suddenly start fucking his sister even though you’ve never cared about that before.”

The harsh words had Fili blushing, a wave of shame rolling over him and making him a little nauseous. Kili and him were close, they’d always been because some days, it felt like all they had was each other, but he’d never do anything to harm her. She was the only person in the world he was sure to love, and he’d never let anyone hurt her, not even himself.

On the good side, Brein was as repulsed as him now that Nori had put frank words on what she’d tried to hint, and Dis quickly protested that they’d never suspect Fili of doing anything so awful. There were still some arguments exchanged about why it would be better if Fili slept with his husband, but in the end Nori won. He’d have the bed to himself, and Fili would go back with Kili.

 

 

It took Fili some days to find a way to repay Nori for his help, but he eventually did. After all, if he hadn’t hoped to get something in return, Nori wouldn’t have intervened at all. Getting to sleep in peace wasn’t worth the risk of an argument with Brein, so he must have wanted something more. Fili’s gratitude maybe, or just knowing his husband owed him. Thankfully, it was easy enough to get rid of that particular debt. Nori wanted to go see his family more. Brein and Dis both thought it wasn’t a good idea that he should be walking alone so often, his position as Fili’s husband and his pregnant state making him an easy target. Fili saw his chance, and for once he intervened in the discussion.

“Maybe I could take him to his family’s home on days where I go see Balin for lessons,” he offered, trying to keep his voice even as all the eyes turned on him. “It’d be a little detour for me, but not so much, and I’d be able to go get him after I’m done, too. It’d be easy.”

He didn’t add that it would be good if they showed themselves side by side, it’d show unity in the royal family, and that Fili was caring for his new husband. He expected Brein would think of it too, and be so proud of herself for that idea that she’d allow it. She always so valued what people would think of her and her family, and even she had to have realised that she had lost a lot of credit after Fili’s very cheap coming of age party and his even cheaper wedding.

“You would have to make sure it doesn’t cut into the time allotted to your study,” Brein pouted after some thinking. Fili knew that expression. It was the moment when he had to be very careful what to say next, because he couldn’t let her see that he was trying to _act clever_ , as she called it so disdainfully.

“I’ll do my best for that, mother,” he promised, eyes on the ground, making himself smaller and as submissive as he could, hoping neither Dis nor Nori would say anything to ruin his efforts. “And if it makes any problem we can always stop, but it might be worth trying?”

“We can try, yes,” Brein agreed reluctantly, before turning to her wife. “You think so too, right?”

Dis didn’t look too happy to have her opinion dictated to her, but she knew now was not the moment to fight about that. She nodded, and that was it.

 

 

Fili only went to see Balin three times a week, but he often ended up spending the entire day there, because he had a lot to learn and the general consensus was that while he was a lot more studious than Thirin had been, he just wasn’t quite as bright. His reading difficulties were the proof of that. He usually went to meet Balin in the morning, and now that he had to first take Nori to his family, they both had to wake up pretty early. It really was quite the detour to go to Ari’s home, though Fili quickly realised he didn’t mind that. Nori never really talked to him if he could avoid it, and then Fili was alone on the way to his lessons. The quiet was nice, and he learned to cherish those moments when he didn’t have to worry so much about everyone around him. It was a half hour each morning and each night that belonged to him only.

The rest of the time wasn’t so nice. Lessons with Balin were still hard, with lots of reading that made his head hurt as he tried to focus on letters that ended up all looking the same. He did better at things that required no reading, and he did best when Dwalin decided to steal him from his brother for some lessons in fighting, which Balin would sometimes complement with bits of history and tales of great battles of old and the deeds of his ancestors. That didn’t happen nearly often enough though, because Dwalin wasn’t home most of the time, and Balin was so busy with other things that he usually had to leave Fili alone with a book.

Then, there were his short interactions with Nori’s family. They were always very happy to see Nori, acting each time as if they hadn’t seen him in ages (which really seemed too much to Fili, how could anybody have believed that? They should have learned more subtle acting) but they did not appear to think much of Nori’s husband. Ari offered to him to come in once or twice, but her smile was so obviously forced that Fili always refused. He suspected they hated him for having agreed to marry Nori, and he didn’t see the point of spending even more time with people who despised him. He got enough of that at home. And while Ari might have managed to be polite to him, Dori always looked at him the way Brein did, which terrified him.

Beside, Nori always seemed angry when Ari offered Fili to have tea with them.

Fili eventually learned the reason of that anger. Many weeks had passed at that point, and Nori’s belly was getting all round, so much so that soon he would not be able to make the long walk to his mother’s house. Brein and Dis were already starting to drop hints that he shouldn’t go out so much anymore, that a decent bearer didn’t go around in public when their state was showing so much. It did nothing to improve Nori’s moods who kept snapping at everyone. When one morning, during their trip to his mother’s house, he suddenly told Fili they needed to talk, Fili wondered how much trouble he’d get in if he just ran away. The answer was too much trouble, and yet it still seemed like a better option than a conversation with Nori.

“My mother really wants to have you come spend some times with us,” he said. “She’s going to offer it tonight again, and it’s probably going to be one of the last chances until the child is born.”

“I’ll say I’m busy,” Fili suggested. “I’ll say mother needs me for something and that we really have to go home right away.”

He’d thought that was what his husband wanted to hear. Instead, Nori stopped in the middle of the street and glared at him.

“I can’t believe how full of shit you are,” he spat. “She’s just asking for a half hour of your time, can’t you give her that? Are you really that fucking ashamed that my family is a bunch of poor commoners?”

Fili frowned.

“I just don’t see the point of doing this,” he protested. “They hate me already. Talking to me will only make it worse, so it’s pointless.”

“But this isn’t about you!” Nori exploded. “This is about my amad, who’s had her son taken from her a first time by a sick bastard, and who’d now like to know if you’re as twisted and fucked up as your brother was! Except so far she’s worried you’re even worse than Thirin was because you won’t even fucking talk to her, won’t look at her! Your brother was a complete piece of shit but at least he made the effort of accepting her invitations!”

Fili didn’t know what to answer. All he knew what that they were in the middle of the street and they shouldn’t be talking about it there. In spite of the early hours there were people around, and shouting attracted attention, and they had to maintain the illusion that everything was fine within the royal family. People couldn’t know what sort of person Thirin had been. Fili wasn’t even sure why anymore, but he knew it was critically important that the illusions be maintained.

“Fine I’ll accept her invitation,” he said quickly. “And I’ll do all I can to be polite and nice, yeah? Just… I’m not too good at these things. At being likeable.”

Nori calmed down somewhat, but still glared at him. “I’m not asking you to _fake_ things. Can’t you just… be yourself for once and not try to be pleasing whoever is standing next to you at the moment? No, please, don’t answer that,” he sighed tiredly. “Just… say yes when she asks you to stay a little tonight, and be honest when she asks you questions. Even if you have to say things that aren’t nice, even if it will make her mad for a little while, okay? She’ll like it better than if you lie to make her feel good.”

Fili shrugged, and nodded. He was ready to promise just about anything if that would end this far too public conversation, while still being determined to just do whatever it’d take to keep peace that evening.

 

 

The tea was nice, and the biscuits were decent. Judging by the way Nori had glared at his brother when seeing the treats, there must have been better biscuits somewhere in the house that Dori must have decided were too nice for Fili. It must have been Dori’s decision, Fili guessed, because he was the only one to not try to hide his dislike of the prince. Ari instead was trying to be polite, offering him the second best seat she had (the first went to Nori due to his state, but it was clear that Ari actually hesitated beforehand), serving him tea in plain but elegant china. And then there was Ori, sitting next to her mother, cuddled against her and staring at Fili with wide, fearful eyes.

It was not very comfortable, all in all, but Fili had seen worse at home.

“So, how is married life treating you, my prince?” Ari asked.

“Please call me Fili, we are family,” he replied blankly. “And I do not really think of it as being married. I am only fulfilling my duty to my brother.”

It was both the truth and the expected answer. Fili was glad that they had started with something he couldn’t do wrong.

“Well, that is not quite the sort of union I would have dreamed of for Nori,” Ari admitted. She paused to think for a second, then smiled. “Of course, I’ve never really imagine that he’d ever marry. He’s got such a temper sometimes.”

Nori stuck out his tongue at his mother, and Ari did something that simply amazed Fili : she laughed.

“What did I say?” she sighed happily, as if her son hadn’t just done something that, in Fili’s life, would have been worth an hour long scolding and no dinner. “He’s just impossible. And to think he’ll be a father soon! And how do you feel about that, actually? I hope it’s not too scary that you too will be a father in just a few weeks, Fili?”

This was a tougher question, one Fili had to think a little about before he could answer. He didn’t know if he was scared. On the whole, he just tried to not think too much about the baby.

“It is a duty I’ll do my best to fulfil,” he said at last, slow and careful. “I know I am barely out of childhood myself but I will make sure my brother’s child is raised well.”

“We sure are going to raise it better than Thirin was,” Nori snapped. “And better than _you_ were, too. You better bet that your moms won’t have their word to say in it, because they’re shit at that parenting stuff.”

Fili blushed in shame and anger while Ari did scold her son at last, though much more lightly than Brein would have.

“He’s not wrong,” Dori intervened. “At the very least, he’s right about Thirin, and there’s not one of us that can deny it, is there?”

He looked at Fili who was confused for a moment, then remembered what he’d told Ori on the day of the first wedding. How he’d hated Thirin and what a terrible person, how both Kili and him wanted him dead. Fili looked away.

“He was not the person around,” he admitted. “And I don’t want the baby to turn out like that, no. I know it made mom… that is, Dis, it made her miserable to see how selfish he could be. I wouldn’t want that. And… I suppose I wouldn’t want a child to be like me, either,” he said with a sad chuckle. “I’m not much good at anything. So… I suppose Nori will have to do most of the raising and I’ll just… be there to bring my family’s money and glory, you know?”

He tried to smile. It couldn’t have been a very good smile though, because the four others were looking at him with an odd expression. Something a little sad and a little shocked. Dis looked at her children like that, sometimes. Fili guessed that was what people called concern, and he didn’t much like it, because it was too much like pity.

“Well, I do hope that won’t be true,” Ari said when the silence had dragged on for too long. “You can’t be half as bad as you seem to think, and besides you’ll have to be there to balance out Nori’s influence a little, don’t you agree? You seem like a good, calm boy, and the child will need a little bit of that with the parents it has, right?”

Fili smiled again, and it must have been even more unconvincing than before because Ari just changed the subject, and asked him about his studies with Balin. That wasn’t a very pleasant conversation either since Fili was such a bad student, but it was less awkward than talking about that child’s future education.

 

 

Nori and Fili walked home. Fili was exhausted from talking with his in-laws, and worried that they’d get scolded for being late, so he kept silent, trying to figure out how he’d phrase things to make sure Brein wouldn’t get too angry. His train of thought was interrupted when Nori grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Ama’s right you know,” he said with frown. “You’re not as bad as you think, Fili. Heck, you sure are a lot better than your mothers let you think. And… look, I don’t want that child. Never did, probably never will. But it’s going to be there soon, so I’ll have to raise it. And I much prefer raising it with your help than Thirin’s.”

“That’s because you hated Thirin,” Fili replied, keeping his voice low. “Because he… forced you. Being less bad than him doesn’t exactly makes me good, because he just was that bad.”

Nori huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Learn to take a compliment, kid, because there’s people who’d think you’re fishing for compliment when you do that. Which I know you’re not doing so don’t fucking go beating yourself up for that. You’re just messed up because I guess nothing ever fricking thought to tell you when you do good stuff. And you do good stuff, believe me. You’ve helped me keep seeing my family when your bitchy moms wanted to lock me up…”

“I just did that because I owed you for helping me with sleeping with Kili!” Fili protested

“Yeah, and speaking of her, I know you’re a decent dwarf because of how you take care of her, and you always try to keep her out of trouble and make sure she don’t get the worst of all these arguments.”

“But that’s just what anyone would do!”

“Thirin did it much then?”

Fili pinched his lips and glared at his husband.

Nori smirked. “Yeah, I thought so. And you try to take care of your moms too, I’ve seen that, and I think it’s good. I mean, I still think you’re whole family is a big pile of crazy shit, and I’d cut my right hand to not be part of it but you… of all the people I could have been forced to team up with to raise a baby, I’m not angry that I landed with you.”

It was perhaps not the most flattering compliment in the world, Fili reflected. But it seemed sincere enough that it really made him feel a little better about the situation, and about himself. After all, Nori had every reason to hate him, so if he believed that Fili could make a decent co-parent, he must have meant it.

This time, when Fili smiled, it was for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in a single week? Wow!  
> Truth is, I'm pretty sick these days so writing is literally the only hobby I can do, and things are super slow at work so I have too much free time. Don't know how long that'll last. Next update could be in two days or in two months... orz


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby's born, but not isn't well

One day Nori started feeling deep aches in his belly, and the child started getting born. It took many hours, which apparently was normal for a first baby. Fili wasn’t allowed to be present, which was also normal, because sometimes births went bad and no spouse should have to see that, even fake ones like Fili. Luckily this one was a good birth, long and tiring for Nori but still easy, and at some point during the night, Fili was called in the bedroom to meet his child.

The baby was impossibly tiny. The tiniest that Fili had ever seen, and he wished that people hadn’t put it in his arms because he’d been told often that he was clumsy and he was going to drop it and it would die and everything would be awful by his fault. At the same time, he didn’t want to let anyone else hold it, because he had a responsibility to that baby. He was a parent now, he had to protect that tiny little life he was holding. He almost protested when Brein took the child from him, claiming that he was holding it wrong and that he’d have to learn or never be allowed to be near the child again.

“You can’t say that,” he protested. “I’m its dad now, you can’t decide for me if I can hold it or not!”

A few heads turned their way, even poor exhausted Nori interested in what was going on. Brein smirked disdainfully.

“You’re nobody’s father,” she said. “We married you off to Nori only for legal reasons, and you have no rights over the child. I thought it was obvious to everyone that I would be raising the child with Dis. Really, I’m sure we must have said so a thousand time. How stupid can you be to have missed that?”

“He’s not stupid, he’s trying to help,” Dis protested, but there was pity in her eyes and that was hardly better than her wife’s disdain. “It’s to your credit that you would want to take responsibility, but you’re still almost a child, we’d never ask you to do that. I am sorry that we didn’t clarify it sooner but I… that is, we did think it was obvious, wasn’t it?”

Suddenly, Fili was glad that the baby had been taken back from him, because he was fighting tears and gnashing his teeth. It wasn’t fair, none of it, and the worst was that his mothers were right. How could he have been so stupid to believe that he would be allowed any real part in that baby’s life when he was almost still a child himself? But he’d believed it, really believed it, and he’d been hoping so much that he could be a good parent. That he could be… more than Brein and Dis had been for him and his siblings.

The tears spilled in spite of his efforts. Fili ran out of the room, and of the house, too ashamed of himself to face everyone.

He didn’t run too far. He had nowhere to go. Just wanted time to cry and handle his shame without witness before he had to be around his family again. He found an alley behind the house, some dead end where no one would find him too soon. He sat on the ground, curling up and trying to make himself small as he sobbed. He’d been stupid, so stupid to hope for anything good. But everything was going to be ruined, as always. Not just for him but for Nori too. He’d let Nori believe they would raise the baby, he’d let Nori’s family believe it too, and now they would all be upset and angry and it’d be his fault. Not only that, but the child would be under Brein’s power, and it would turn out either like Thirin or like Fili, and he wasn’t sure which was worse. Maybe it’d be better if the baby became like Thirin, who hadn’t been as stupid as Fili and had had friends and had at least been loved by their mothers.

His tears were slowly stopping, only a few dry hiccups betraying his little crisis, when Thorin found him. Fili curled up tighter, fearing a scold. None came though, and his uncle sat by him.

“I’m sorry,” Fili quickly said.

“Sorry for what, exactly?” Thorin asked.

“I don’t know. For being stupid I guess?”

Thorin sighed, and put a hand around his nephew’s shoulders.

“You are not stupid, Fili. Nori said he too had never imagined what your moms had planned for the child and even if he’s quite tired, he’s been protesting since you left. He clearly doesn’t intend to let anyone raise the baby except for the two of you.” Thorin sighed again, and pulled Fili closer. “Brein isn’t too happy about it, and I think she’ll fight to have her way but… I don’t think she will win that one.”

Fili uncurled and looked at his uncle with wide eyes.

“Mother always gets her way,” he protested. “And she’s right this time, Nori didn’t really want a child and I’m just a stupid kid and…”

“You are  _ not  _ stupid,” Thorin cut him. “And I think it’s more than time Brein learned that sometimes, _ other people _ can be right too. I think it’s right that Nori should get to raise his own son with his husband, with our help. That  _ was  _ the agreement when we married the two of you, and I don’t like that there was a change of plan I was not told about.”

Fili stared at his uncle, feeling tears welling up again. Thorin did seem upset, and it was what Fili had dreamed of for years, to finally see someone, anyone, realise how bad Brein could be and to do something about it… But it was not quite the first time Thorin was on the verge of making that decision only to back down at the last moment, he reminded himself. Thorin knew how terrible his sister in law was, couldn’t ignore after so many years, and for whatever reason he’d decided to never do anything about it.

“There are always changes of plan,” he muttered. “And everyone is upset but still does what she wants. Don’t see why it should be different this time, so don’t bother. Just let her have her way, it’s not worth the effort fighting when it’s impossible to win.”

“Do you want that child to be raised by your mothers then?”

“Who cares what I want. I don’t want anything anyway. But I...” Fili hesitated looking at his uncle who did seem concerned. And maybe he could make a difference, at least a little one. “I don’t like it. They’re my moms but… I don’t think they’re very good at raising kids.”

His uncle held him closer, tighter, to the point of almost hurting.

“I think they did a terrible job of raising Thirin,” he agreed. “They were young, and things were different when your brother was born. Everything was more difficult. Even now, things aren’t always easy. They did better at raising you and your sister, I believe, but sometimes I wonder if it wasn’t just an accident…” he paused, looking away for a moment, then sighed. “I imagine I shouldn’t be telling you this, but you know it already: theirs isn’t a happy marriage, which is hurting them both, and it has hurt you children in turn. Even Thirin was hurt, though he might not have felt it as such. I know  _ you  _ feel it though. How could you not? I fear sometimes we’ve  _ all  _ been too hard on you…”

He paused again, longer this time, and Fili tried to understand what he was saying. It somewhat sounded like an apology to his ear, though he knew it couldn’t be one. An acknowledgement then, and that was just as extraordinary. Why would anyone care what he felt? He was just the bad child, the stupid one. It was normal that they’d been hard on him, he hard deserved it.

If anything, Fili now felt like he had to comfort his uncle, to tell him he’d done nothing wrong.

“I will talk to Brein and Dis,” Thorin decided at last. “If Nori wants to raise the child it is his right, and if he wants your help rather than theirs, I wouldn’t blame him and they’d have to respect that choice.”

Fili had no words for how grateful he was, so he just hugged his uncle and hoped that would be enough.

 

* * *

 

Brein was furious beyond anything her family had ever seen, but Thorin would not give in. She pleaded and threatened, she argued and cried, played on logic and emotions, and yet her brother-in-law did not bulge from his position. Nori had the ultimate say in who raised his child, and Thorin would offer him his support no matter what decision he made. Brein, in anger, went as far as to say she wouldn’t have Nori live in her house a minute longer if the baby wasn’t hers to raise, and that was a terrible mistake on her part because Thorin took her to her word. He retorted that he would help the young family build a house of their own, and that in the meanwhile they would go live with Nori’s mother, since Brein was too emotional to be trusted around them. Brein protested with all her might, but again Thorin would not give in.

It was the first time Fili saw his mother lose an argument, and yet he’d never been more scared of her. And with him gone, who would protect Kili?

The move to Ari’s house happened fast. The instant Oin announced he was well enough for it, Nori hastily grabbed a bundle of clothes, his baby, and went to his mother’s house. Fili followed a mere house later, as soon as he was done packing what few things he was allowed to take with him. Brein went through his things several times and took away everything she deemed of value, everything that he hadn’t earned, everything that had any link to Thirin. In the end Fili’s bundle was even smaller than Nori’s had been, though his sister promised that she’d try to come and secretly bring him things once their mother would have calmed down.

Ari and Dori were rather surprised to see him come with so little, and his mother-in-law hesitantly asked when the rest of his belongings would be brought.

“That’s all I have, ma’am,” Fili mumbled, heat rising to his cheeks. “My other things didn’t belong to me but to my moms.”

“Oh… and didn’t Nori have more things that you could have brought? He only took the essentials this morning.”

“Mother said that… that the rest of it didn’t really belong to him because it was presents from Thirin, and that she got to keep them. I’m really sorry,” he added quickly when he saw the look on their face. “She’s… she’s very upset about everything. She really didn’t expect that…”

He hesitated, looking for a polite way to say his mother just wasn’t used to losing a fight.

“She didn’t expect that Nori would want to raise his own child, uh?” Ari finished for him. “That woman is such a… oh well, we’ll make it work anyway. Come in, my boy. I’ll show you the bedroom. It’s just the one for the whole family, I hope you’ll get used to it.”

“It’s fine ma’am, it was the same at home until Nori came live with us.”

“You all slept in the same bedroom?” Ari asked as she closed the door. “I would have thought… it’s funny. Most families of high birth I’ve visited… well, usually, they at least want a separate room for the children.”

Fili shrugged. He knew people with money often did that, but that was because they wanted children. A few years after Kili was born, Brein had realised that her two youngest children were idiots and she’d decided that it would be pointless to have more children, since clearly there was something rotten in her wife that didn’t let Dis give her good, healthy children. Once she had decided that, Fili and Thirin had never again been asked to leave the bedroom during the night, as they sometimes had to before their sister was born. 

Ari led him to the bedroom, which was currently empty. It was not a very big room, perhaps even smaller than the bedroom at home, and barely an inch of the floor wasn’t covered in beddings or furniture. Fili stood at the entrance, unsure where he’d be sleeping and not wanting to assume anything. 

“Nori and Ori are at the shop,” Ari explained as she gently took Fili’s bundle and placed it on a small chest. “Did your mother… well, both of them really, do you think they’ll come visit sometimes? It’s their grandchild too, and I know lady Brein was rather angry, but…”

“I don’t think mother will ever come if she can help it,” Fili replied, blunter than he should have been, but suddenly too tired to be careful. “She’ll figure out ways to make us come visit her instead. But amad… that is, Dis, she might. She was very sorry at what happened.”

“If she comes, I suppose we’ll have to welcome her,” Ari sighed. “But I hope neither of them does. I’ll be honest, my boy: the only reason you are even here is because Nori insisted you should be part of the baby’s life, or else I wouldn’t have let you step a foot here. Nori thinks I don’t know how he got trapped in marrying the monster you called your brother, but I’m not stupid. I was young too, once, and I know by what means noble dwarves will get their spouses sometimes, and to think of what my poor boy has gone through… If I had the power, I’d have dragged your whole family before a judge for what happened, but then I’d lose all my clientele, and we still need to eat.”

Staring at the floor, Fili wished he could have disappeared. There went his hope that this house might be a better one for him. His only comfort was that Nori had people to care for him, and that the baby was in better hands than with his other grandmothers. And maybe when things had settled down a bit, he would talk to Thorin, beg his uncle to take him in, and Kili too at the same time. He didn’t think Thorin had much affection for either of them, or maybe a bit for Kili because she was sweet, but he had a strong enough sense of duty that he might do it anyway.

“I’ll expect you to help around the house,” Ari resumed after a moment had passed. “Nori says you’ll probably not have any problems with that?”

“I helped at home too, ma’am. Mother said everyone must earn their keep. I’m not too good at it, but I try hard.”

His mother-in-law appeared unconvinced, but she did not insist. Fili sighed. He should have been more honest about his true capacities, so as not to seem like he was boasting and disappoint her even more when she saw how clumsy he really was.

With this particular conversation out of the way, Ari and Dori took him to the shop at last. There they found little Ori taking care of a couple of customers, and Nori sitting on a chair, the sleeping baby in his arms. He was strangely happy to see his young husband, and carefully stood up to meet him.

“Took you long enough,” he grumbled, keep his voice low. “Did your mother try to blackmail you into something?”

“No, she just… helped me go through my things to make sure I didn’t… accidentally took something that wasn’t mine.”

“Old cow. Well, here’s something that’s yours for sure,” Nori said, handing the baby to Fili. “Take it. I need a nap or ten right now. Don’t let Dori take it, he’s shit with babies.”

Fili nodded distractedly, focusing with all his might with the tiny dwarf in arms to make sure he’d hold it right. It was so small and so fragile, and it was the cause of so much trouble in his life already, after barely a month of being born, but each time Fili looked at it, he felt a surge of… something. The same thing as happened sometimes when he looked at Kili, or on rare occasion at Dis or Thorin. Once, it had even happened with Thirin, when they were both young. Like a feeling of warmth that made his chest feel too tight. He never been too sure what to call it. Love maybe, or just happiness. It was something good either way, if a little odd because he was not used to it.

No matter what name that good feeling had, Fili hoped the baby would experience it every day of its life. Because he would do all he could to ensure that baby was both happy and loved, even if he didn’t really how those two things worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a big gape in updating, oops. Which I guess happens when I lose my writing mojo ahah. Plus even though I know the general endgame (Fili and Nori getting together) I'm still unsure of how everything will happen


End file.
